Friday, March 25, 2005
On grudges...
Everyone does stupid shit from time to time. Myself included. We do things that hurt other people, and we do things that hurt ourselves. I held a grudge over some stupid shit that went on in high school for way too long. These were the kind of things that are earth-shattering to a seventeen year old. Now that I look back at it all, all three parties involved acted very petty, and I was the worst of the lot. I placed all the blame on one person, who really didn't deserve it. I probably would have done the same thing if our roles were reversed.
After Juddy died, it made me think about life a lot differently. The whole experience was a complete shock to my system. It made me wake up to what is actually important in life, the universe, and everything*. I don't take anything for granted anymore. I can't. Life is just too short. Living with regret and anger, especially over petty, meaningless, high school, bullshit is now way to live at all, so I don't anymore.
What happened can never be undone, but it doesn't even matter anymore. In the grand scheme of things, one girl is of miniscule importance, no matter how kick ass she seemed. Looking back, we both got played. It had to be even worse for you in the long run that it was for me.
Everything happens for a reason, and I think this is one had a very good reason. To make us the people we are today. To make us stronger. To make us friends.
So, Jared, if you are reading this, and I'll make sure you do, I apologize for never actually giving you a chance.
* I just couldn't resist.
After Juddy died, it made me think about life a lot differently. The whole experience was a complete shock to my system. It made me wake up to what is actually important in life, the universe, and everything*. I don't take anything for granted anymore. I can't. Life is just too short. Living with regret and anger, especially over petty, meaningless, high school, bullshit is now way to live at all, so I don't anymore.
What happened can never be undone, but it doesn't even matter anymore. In the grand scheme of things, one girl is of miniscule importance, no matter how kick ass she seemed. Looking back, we both got played. It had to be even worse for you in the long run that it was for me.
Everything happens for a reason, and I think this is one had a very good reason. To make us the people we are today. To make us stronger. To make us friends.
So, Jared, if you are reading this, and I'll make sure you do, I apologize for never actually giving you a chance.
* I just couldn't resist.
